Whether it is provided by the greats of stand up comedy, the masters of satire or someone you actually wouldn’t expect it from, there is nothing better than having a good laugh. We have selected the funniest quotes throughout history to bring some much-needed light relief to your day.
WILLIAM JAMES, , ‘Common sense and a sense of humour are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humour is just common sense, dancing.’
SPIKE MILLIGAN, , ‘I’m not afraid of dying I just don’t want to be there when it happens.’
RON WHITE, , ‘I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.’
ELLEN DEGENERES, , ‘My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the hell she is.’
OSCAR WILDE, , ‘Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.’
JIM CARREY, , ‘Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.’
ALBERT EINSTEIN
‘If the facts don’t fit the theory, change the facts.’
MARK TWAIN, , ‘Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.’
ROBIN WILLIAMS, , ‘Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?’
LILY TOMLIN, , ‘I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.’
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